Deception

You only see what I want you to see.....
I never show you the whole of me.....
The vibrant smile, the hope filled eyes........
They hold a deeper secret sea.........
The airy talk, the pompous walk........
Is there to help you to hate me.........
For no matter how nearer you be.....
I will never show you the whole of me........

Call it vanity, call it pride.........
The real reason I alone can see........
I love you too much to let you read........
The painful pages of my history..........
So the gait of cruelty, the mockery of silence.....
No, don't touch...just let them be..........
One requires a guard against
The horrifying naked visibility........

Wrong again! It won't hurt me........
For being hurt is my ecstasy........
But you are so dear, so true, so warm........
I can not drown you in my misery............
So see my mock indifference and cruelty........
And rest in peace thinking, "She's not worth,
I know I'm happy away from her,
Good riddance, just let her be!"

And thus when I have deceived you dear,
Make you see the false side of me.........
and see you walk away in loathing
I know you are at least not hurt by Me...!!!

Lonely walk, despairing heart..........
Within you hidden, all of it I see.........
A hundred faces who mocked your heart........
Made you blue, robbed your glee........
I tell myself, he needs a break,
He needs a shoulder strong and free.........
So why show him that I do care,
And hold him back with my love's plea?
I am no soul that can heal,
So let me not another sadness be..........

Go, go, fly away to the Eastern sky........
I will watch you soar from far.........
And be happy in my own heart.........
To know that in being far from me,
You are happy, you are living,
You are a soul agile and free.........
My love can't give you the quenching you need.....
So be blessed and far from me.........

I love you too much to let you read........
The painful pages of my history..........
You are so dear, so true, so warm........
I can not drown you in my misery............
So be deceived...!...and only see...............
What I choose to show of me..........
For if you saw my aching heart.........
You will never let go of me........
And in leaving me to my own fate
Will only lessen your own pain........
If I can't afford to heal you, love
Why should I a selfish be.........?
So I show you what you can hate in me
And to your happiness I set you free.........

But I also know there will come a time........
When your weary hungry hopeless heart.....
At last through the deception see.........
You will want me back, you will travel back far.......
For you will want to be with me.........

And then again, I will show you
What I only choose for you to see.........
And push you far away once more........
And from my cursed life I will set you free........!!!