Another sleepless, numb night spills over to the next torturous day...
I sit in the empty balcony, watching the night sky painfully clear up and wake the peacefully sleeping birds to another phase of their survival struggle. They begin protesting aloud...the drab, grey, somewhat yellow sky echo with their rebellious chorus....and it pierces my tired ears...!
I get up from my seat of arid creativity and walk into the kitchen to make myself something to eat...got to have enough energy to gulp in the next meaningless drag of oxygen, you see... :)
The sun rises on the eastern horizon, mocking me cruelly for having failed to make meaning of life the last time he was here...I choose to ignore.....for I have to get prepared for the next 24 hours of Meaninglessness...that requires a lot of paraphernalia.....
Absurd Existence.....!
A time and space where no law works...The Law of Displacement doesn't work...The Law of Causality doesn't work.....Limbo doesn't work.....Apathy doesn't work.....What the hell works then, i wonder...!!!
May be only Darwin's Evolution Theory.....in a subverted version...Sartre, Camus, Derrida, Jung, Freud, Foucault...all punched in...each in different ratios.....
A soul that is 16 billion years old...
having undergone all the stages of stellar and earthly evolutions through Eternity......
approximately 5 billion years ago the huge gaseous Helium ball first infused an insurmountable heat into this soul...It was young, vigorous, vibrant, full of enthusiasm.....and it trotted off to inhabit the clayey globe soon...
It landed into the magma ocean..got scorched and molten by adversities, betrayals, lies..........the human soul became angry, rebellious, enraged...
Soon the angry soul moved forward into the Pleistocene world...the soul weathered the bone-chilling Ice-age of Indifference, Manipulations and pressure of Performance.....the soul froze...became cold, blue, biting...finally buried under sheets of ice, she was fossilized and lay as cold as Death until the post-glacial period meaninglessly thawed her and brought her back to the same Meaningless life...
but thanks to the Nietzchian God, her meaningless journey had to continue.....
and so came the Stone Age...and the cold and angry soul underwent her next evolution.....
she changed from a de-fossilized figurine to a stone-black figure.....hard, mechanic, rolling down the cliffs eternally.....perhaps the Myth of Sisyphus began then.....the meaningless toil of the human soul carrying the boulder up the mountain incline, painstakingly, to place it on the Mount of Hope, Warmth, New Beginnings...but every time the Sisyphus-Soul would reach the top, human despair, coldness and the cruel mockery of history repeating itself would push the boulder down the incline.....the human soul grew desperate and tired and decided to take some helping hands.....
so the soul joined hands with human civilization.....and Jung happened...walking a million meaningless journeys together seeded the old fatigued soul with the collective racial consciousness of the Dark, the Cruel, the Persistent Failures..............
she became quite confused.....what was her journey all about.....? Nothing worked in her favor...in the favor of the Mirage called Life.....existential questions began maddening her...until accidentally the soul bumped into Sartre..............
all her questions were answered...all dilemmas put to rest........all hopes and search for meaning out rightly negated...........and then she was transformed into the Übermensch................
This morning, the dog-tired, Eternity-old soul of the Übermensch prays to, no, not the deaf Heavens, but to the immortal soul of Sartre..........asking for more strength and faith in facing the Nihilism, the utter Meaninglessness of it all, the absolute decadence of 'life'.............but 'life' and the soul, have to move on.......
Blinded by unspoken pain.....diseased with despair.....numbing the aching memory into forced Oblivion.....
the soul, as old as the Universe, travels on........through the Eternal Sea of Meaninglessness........the never-ending Night of Nihilism...........the Utter Absurdity of all existential efforts............
and I chide her..."What the heck? You knew it from the very beginning, didn't you? the destined doom of all glorious dreams? Then why cry now? Why feel pained? Why lament?"
and my 6 billion years old, wise soul calmly replies, "The tears are are water to irrigate the inner-soil........the pain my yoke to till the creative field ........the lament my inspiration........to produce a new work of creation........and thus to make a Meaningless Meaning out of the Absurd........till I breathe my last.....for you see, I am the Übermensch...........I have to toil on............in search of a Meaningful Existence........though there may be none, whatsoever...........I am the Übermensch...........I have to dream on..........in spite of the utter Nihilism.........I am the Übermensch.............I am destined to breathe on.................."
I sit in the empty balcony, watching the night sky painfully clear up and wake the peacefully sleeping birds to another phase of their survival struggle. They begin protesting aloud...the drab, grey, somewhat yellow sky echo with their rebellious chorus....and it pierces my tired ears...!
I get up from my seat of arid creativity and walk into the kitchen to make myself something to eat...got to have enough energy to gulp in the next meaningless drag of oxygen, you see... :)
The sun rises on the eastern horizon, mocking me cruelly for having failed to make meaning of life the last time he was here...I choose to ignore.....for I have to get prepared for the next 24 hours of Meaninglessness...that requires a lot of paraphernalia.....
Absurd Existence.....!
A time and space where no law works...The Law of Displacement doesn't work...The Law of Causality doesn't work.....Limbo doesn't work.....Apathy doesn't work.....What the hell works then, i wonder...!!!
May be only Darwin's Evolution Theory.....in a subverted version...Sartre, Camus, Derrida, Jung, Freud, Foucault...all punched in...each in different ratios.....
A soul that is 16 billion years old...
having undergone all the stages of stellar and earthly evolutions through Eternity......
approximately 5 billion years ago the huge gaseous Helium ball first infused an insurmountable heat into this soul...It was young, vigorous, vibrant, full of enthusiasm.....and it trotted off to inhabit the clayey globe soon...
It landed into the magma ocean..got scorched and molten by adversities, betrayals, lies..........the human soul became angry, rebellious, enraged...
Soon the angry soul moved forward into the Pleistocene world...the soul weathered the bone-chilling Ice-age of Indifference, Manipulations and pressure of Performance.....the soul froze...became cold, blue, biting...finally buried under sheets of ice, she was fossilized and lay as cold as Death until the post-glacial period meaninglessly thawed her and brought her back to the same Meaningless life...
but thanks to the Nietzchian God, her meaningless journey had to continue.....
and so came the Stone Age...and the cold and angry soul underwent her next evolution.....
she changed from a de-fossilized figurine to a stone-black figure.....hard, mechanic, rolling down the cliffs eternally.....perhaps the Myth of Sisyphus began then.....the meaningless toil of the human soul carrying the boulder up the mountain incline, painstakingly, to place it on the Mount of Hope, Warmth, New Beginnings...but every time the Sisyphus-Soul would reach the top, human despair, coldness and the cruel mockery of history repeating itself would push the boulder down the incline.....the human soul grew desperate and tired and decided to take some helping hands.....
so the soul joined hands with human civilization.....and Jung happened...walking a million meaningless journeys together seeded the old fatigued soul with the collective racial consciousness of the Dark, the Cruel, the Persistent Failures..............
she became quite confused.....what was her journey all about.....? Nothing worked in her favor...in the favor of the Mirage called Life.....existential questions began maddening her...until accidentally the soul bumped into Sartre..............
all her questions were answered...all dilemmas put to rest........all hopes and search for meaning out rightly negated...........and then she was transformed into the Übermensch................
This morning, the dog-tired, Eternity-old soul of the Übermensch prays to, no, not the deaf Heavens, but to the immortal soul of Sartre..........asking for more strength and faith in facing the Nihilism, the utter Meaninglessness of it all, the absolute decadence of 'life'.............but 'life' and the soul, have to move on.......
Blinded by unspoken pain.....diseased with despair.....numbing the aching memory into forced Oblivion.....
the soul, as old as the Universe, travels on........through the Eternal Sea of Meaninglessness........the never-ending Night of Nihilism...........the Utter Absurdity of all existential efforts............
and I chide her..."What the heck? You knew it from the very beginning, didn't you? the destined doom of all glorious dreams? Then why cry now? Why feel pained? Why lament?"
and my 6 billion years old, wise soul calmly replies, "The tears are are water to irrigate the inner-soil........the pain my yoke to till the creative field ........the lament my inspiration........to produce a new work of creation........and thus to make a Meaningless Meaning out of the Absurd........till I breathe my last.....for you see, I am the Übermensch...........I have to toil on............in search of a Meaningful Existence........though there may be none, whatsoever...........I am the Übermensch...........I have to dream on..........in spite of the utter Nihilism.........I am the Übermensch.............I am destined to breathe on.................."
Ur an Ubermensch :)
ReplyDeletethnx Praveen...i m indeed an Ubermensch...! or at least trying to be one...!:)
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